Boys in the classroom - is it cool to fail?
By Tammy Cohen
The last few years' statistics revealed that by the age of seven, girls were out-performing boys in reading and spelling. By 11, the gap had widened even more and by 14, 17% more girls than boys reached level five or above. So why are our boys falling so spectacularly behind? And what can we do to stop the rot?
Here's a quick quiz:
- Name a movie hero who's both cool and a boffin.
- Give one instance where it's the class swot not the class clown who gets the girl?
- Find a poster on a young boy's bedroom wall that shows somebody reading a book rather than playing football or bawling down a microphone.
Stumped? Worried you can't do it? Think it's 'impossible'? Well, now you have some idea of how many of our sons feel every day in the classroom. What's more, it's potentially the key to why they're under-performing.
Peer pressure
The dreaded 'P' word strikes fear into any concerned parent's heart. Try to convince your daughter that it doesn't matter if she has the same shoes as her friend and you won't succeed - for the simple reason that it does matter. A lot.
For boys, the pressure is less likely to be about fashion than attitude. If you want to win the respect of your peers, you have to be 'cool'. And 'cool' boys don't do homework. "Boys can be given a very hard time if they study," says child psychologist, Jennie Lindon. "Swots and boffins have always been ridiculed. It's the psychology of the pack. No one wants to stand out."
The solution:
You can never eliminate peer pressure, but you can dilute it by:
Providing a balancing influence at home by putting a high value on learning. Don't say: "You have to work hard so you can go to university". For a boy already weighed down by the thought of years of school stretching ahead of him, this will not seem like a reward. Instead make it clear that what education buys you is the luxury of choice.
Taking care not to embarrass your son in front of his friends by making him do his homework while they're round or talking about any test results at the school gates. Your son has to know he can do his work without losing credibility with his mates, so keep a lid on it!
Not dismissing or belittling his friends. Like it or not, these are the people who provide your son with a sense of status and belonging.
Role models
Can you imagine James Bond killing time between assignments by swotting up on quantum physics? How many times have you seen Robbie Williams photographed with his nose buried in a book?
We've always lived in a culture where male icons are either smooth charmers geared for success, or else non-conformist anti-heroes. But now there's a new kind of hero- the 'lad' touched by the "Men Behaving Badly" syndrome or "Gazza" factor. Whatever name you give it, the upshot is the same - this generation of boys are learning that it's okay to base your life around football and beer.
"The problem is made worse because of the lack of male role models in schools who could counterbalance that image," says Myrtle Burgess, a north London primary school teacher. "Primary schools are crying out for men either as teachers or classroom volunteers to provide positive role models for young boys."
The emergence of the new millionaire entrepreneurs doesn't help matters, either. Suddenly the old arguments about working hard at school so that you can get a well-paid job, no longer add up with people like Richard Branson around to show that you don't need qualifications to make 'loadsamoney'.
The solution:
Don't panic if your son thinks David Beckham is God. Instead, counterbalance those influences by:
- Making sure he sees other male role models - fathers, older brothers, uncles - reading and showing an interest in books
- Measuring success in terms other than wealth
Classroom bias
Many parents and educational experts believe the way children are taught in primary schools favours girls.
"It starts right from nursery age," says Burgess. "Young boys are very physical and need to be outside. That doesn't mean to say they shouldn't be learning - but learning in an outdoor physical environment. The changes in the curriculum have meant more emphasis on formal education and boys are having to spend longer periods sitting still, something they find quite hard. The result is they're switching off."
The change from an exam-based educational system to a continuously assessed one is also seen to benefit girls who are generally more organised, have better perseverance skills, and are less easily discouraged than boys.
Some education experts also claim that the move away from phonetics towards reading through recognising shapes and pictures is better suited to the way girls' brains work than boys'.
The solution:
Several solutions have been put forward to tackle the apparent classroom imbalance between boys and girls. These include:
- Single sex classes. This would discourage boys from acting up in order to show off in front of girls. It would also boost boys' flagging self-esteem because they wouldn't be constantly comparing themselves with the girls at the top of the class.
- Changing the teaching materials used. Research shows that boys generally prefer non-fiction to fiction. It has been suggested that English texts needn't just be novels.
Parent power
Watching your bright, inquisitive son gradually losing motivation, self-confidence and the will to do well is enough to leave any parent feeling helpless. But you should never underestimate your own influence. Help boost your son's educational morale by:
- Capitalising on his interests and hobbies. Jennie Lindon, a child psychologist and mother of teenage sons recalls: "A great turning point for us was realising that it didn't matter about the educational content of what our children were reading, as long as they were reading. We dug out football magazines, comics, anything that they actually wanted to read." If your six-year-old is Pokémon-mad, don't disparage it, get hold of some Pokémon books and read them together.
- Keeping TV to a minimum. Keep the television out of the bedroom and regulate how much he watches. If there's nothing else to do, he might just pick up a book.
- Encouraging him to open up about what happens at school by asking questions that can't be answered with a 'yes' or 'no'.
- Listening to him and showing you take his comments and complaints about school seriously, so enhancing his sense of self-worth.
- Making it clear that you have high (but not unreasonably so) expectations of him.
- Not panicking - it probably isn't as bad as you think. "We think of James as being very disorganised and too laid back when it comes to schoolwork," says Karen Douglas of her 13-year-old son. "But his teachers say he is actually very mature for a 13 year- old."
Tammy Cohen is a 36-year-old freelance writer with three children aged eight, five, and four. She writes regularly for many women's weekly and monthly magazines as well as several websites. She would like to point out that her own sons happily proclaim School to be Cool. . . as long as you pay them enough.
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