Settling your child into secondary school

By Sarah Purcell

You can probably still recall your first day at secondary school - a huge building, lots of big scary kids, getting lost on your way back to your classroom. Remember it now?

Fortunately, these days thanks to better links between primary and secondary schools, your child's experience should be a much more pleasant one. And with a little help from you, she'll soon be feeling at home in her new school.

From primary to secondary
How is your child feeling?
Help at hand
Top three worries for kids
Getting to school
Personal issues
School lunches

From primary to secondary
However well prepared you are, starting secondary school can be an anxious time for both you and your child. Not only is she suddenly back to being the little one in the school, but there isn't the same cosy atmosphere there was at primary school.

"Getting used to the size and scale of the school is likely to be the first challenge for most children," says Matthew Brown, Key Stage 3 manager and assistant head at Hextable school, a mixed comprehensive in Kent. Other differences include:

having to move classrooms for each lesson instead of staying in one classroom all day
the sheer size of the older students (remember some of them are 18), and the number of them - on average 800 in a secondary school, compared to 300 at primary
male teachers - primary schools have predominantly female teachers
a form teacher for registration and then one teacher for each subject
homework - in Year 6 of primary your child probably got one piece a night, but this is likely to go up to two or three pieces a night in different subjects.

How your child could be feeling
With so much to take on board, what will your child be feeling about their big day? Child psychologist Dorothy Einon says: 'There's probably mixed emotions for all children starting secondary school. For many it is associated with growing up and the greater freedom that brings, such as going to school and coming home on their own. It's also an opportunity for moving on and learning new things, and for children who are sociable and popular there's the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends.

"But for other children all these things can bring on stress," warns Einon. "For children who don't make friends easily, the prospect of being in a bigger, new environment can worry them. For children who were sometimes teased at primary school this could lead to more serious bullying in an environment where behaviour cannot possibly be monitored as closely as in primary school.

Einon advises making sure your child knows that you feel confident they can cope. 'Be sympathetic - listen to her problems and build up her self esteem. Don't say if she's worried about something: "Don't be silly", say "I know you're worried but I'm confident you will be able to cope." It's about understanding and accepting the problem, but having the confidence so that your child can go forward."

Help at hand
"The new school should invite parents and students to an induction day and it's worth attending these to familiarise your child with the school and teachers," says Brown. The primary school may also hold a meeting for parents and children to give you information on preparing for the move to secondary school. "On the first day we provide new students with a map of the school to help them know where to go, and we also allocate students from the year above to show them around," Brown adds. It's a good idea to find out about the school's rules on things such as school uniform, hair styles, punctuality, before she starts, to avoid any embarrassment for your child. You should also be familiar with the school's policies on issues such as bullying, health and sex education, which you can find in the school prospectus.

Every secondary school should have a primary school liaison manager, and you can get in touch with this teacher before your child starts to discuss any concerns you may have.

Top three worries for kids
Bullying. Both children and parents tend to worry about this. "There will be a nominated teacher responsible for anti-bullying in the school and your child should be told who this is. If there are any problems your child should report them to this teacher, no matter what the bully has said to them about not telling," Brown advises.

Homework. The amount of homework quickly increases once your child moves to secondary school, and they'll have new subjects to cope with too. Most schools run homework clubs at lunchtime to help students and the school should publish a booklet with the curriculum outlined, targets for the year and the books to read. "If you're worried your child isn't coping well with homework, speak to her form tutor and they can arrange support."

Making new friends
The school may put children into friendship groups with others they know from primary school. In addition, PSE (personal and social education) sessions during the first term will be aimed at helping children to get to know each other.

Getting to school
For many children, moving to secondary school may mean making their own way to school for the first time, perhaps on public transport and this can be a source of worry.

Get hold of travel timetables in advance. If possible, do a trial run of the school route with your child so she knows exactly where she's going.
Ask the school if there's an older child who travels the same route that can accompany your child.
Meet your child from the bus/coach/train during the first week if you can.

Personal issues
The average age for a girl to start her periods is now 11, so this may coincide with her first term at secondary school. Make sure you've explained to your daughter what will happen and give her sanitary protection to keep in her bag just in case. The school nurse will be available to help with any concerns she may have and they should get a visit from a health education professional during the first term to explain all about menstruation.

School lunches
While at primary school you probably paid a termly fee for school lunches, most secondary schools operate a cash cafeteria system, where your child takes money in each day and has a choice of foods available. "The only problem here is that many schools also sell snacks at break time, and students may be tempted to spend their money then, with little left for lunch time," says Brown. Try and monitor what your child eats over the first two weeks to see how nutritious it is, then you can make a decision whether to continue or to give your child a packed lunch.

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