Find out why
It is important to try and find out why your child seems to dislike the
sports activities at school. If he has been made to feel that he is no
good at sport it may have put him off or may have been hurt or made to
feel foolish during a lesson.
Embarrassed about her body
Karen Dunkley who has a nine-year-old girl says: "My daughter became really miserable about her swimming lesson and would more often than not have a stomach ache on that day. I had always thought she was pretty good at swimming for her age so I couldn't work it out. It took me a while to get out of her that she was really embarrassed because she was developing breasts before her friends and was teased a lot when she was in her swimming costume.
Not the right clothes
Michelle Roberts, mum to a 10-year-old boy says: "My son suddenly developed an aversion to sports and after chatting it through I found out it was because I'd sent him off to school with navy shorts that stood out from the football shorts that all his friends were wearing. A pair of less old-fashioned shorts quickly solved the problem."
If your child complains that he or she is not wearing what other children do for PE then you should take notice. Ask your child's teacher or other parents what the children wear. It could be something as simple as a different coloured T-shirt - but it could make the world of difference to the way your child feels about sport at school.
Over-zealous teachers
In most primary schools the emphasis tends to be on physical activities that everyone can join in, such as gymnastics, dance or games, and when team sports are played there is often careful emphasis on taking part and enjoying the game. However, some teachers forget this. As your child gets older you may find that even though she had initially been enthusiastic about joining the after-school netball team, the over-zealous attitudes of some teachers are off-putting. Many of us have memories of constantly being picked last for team games and so it is easy to understand why such a scenario might be distressing for a primary school child.
You should try speaking to your child's teacher. Explain that your child needs slightly more careful handling and that you are frightened that he will be put off. If things don't improve it would be worth speaking to the head teacher.
Is she overweight or not very 'sporty'?
A child with a weight problem can feel particularly self-conscious doing
sport. If your child is complaining that he is being teased in PE you should discuss with his teacher how to overcome this problem.
Alternatively, it could be that your child might feel he's not living up to either your or his teacher's expectations. Are you particularly competitive at sport? It may be that you have taken the fun out of it by making it appear that it's important to win or be the best.
Look at your own attitude to sport
If you have always hated sport, your attitude may be affecting your child's attitude. Perhaps you should consider taking part in new activities with your child. Choose something that you and your child could learn together. It may help him seeing you starting something at the beginning.
Find an activity he will enjoy
All of the above problems can certainly be helped by looking for sports and
physical activity that your child might enjoy outside school.
Playing with you and with friends
Even if your child does not want to do any team games he may enjoy playing games with friends. You could arrange a knock around football game in the park or even a fun game of Frisbee or catch. Take bikes, scooters and skates and watch how capable your child is. Go to the local swimming pool in the weekends or try something which is not necessarily considered a 'sport' such as bowling. Put up a basketball or football net in your yard or garden if possible.
New sports
Take the time to explore different sporting activities at your local leisure centre. David Phillips, whose son Charlie is in Year Four, says: "Charlie was getting really upset, not because of the PE lessons but because of the football games which dominate the play ground at break-time. Charlie was not considered one of the good ones and so he felt a failure.
My wife and I found a trampoline class which he enjoyed for a while but then someone told me about an archery club near us and we discovered that Charlie was a natural. He's gone on to do competitions and has done very well, which has really improved his confidence.
Funnily enough he seems to be able to take part in the playground football sessions again because he doesn't care so much how well he does."
There are loads of after school clubs and holiday clubs that offer sports
that your child may not do at school. You should be able to arrange a one lesson trial before you commit yourself to paying for a course. If the sport your child chooses involves buying new clothes or equipment you should investigate buying
second-hand, borrowing from a friend or buy it new with a view to reselling
if your child should lose interest.
Sophie Radice writes for 'The Guardian' parent's page and education pages and for 'The Observer' health pages. She is married with two children aged nine and five.
